1984: Born in clean white, minimalist hospital. Wrapped in a pristine white, Hermes cashmere blanket. Begins of a life long love affair with white….

1994: Enrols in private school and starts writing the extraordinarily influential thesis White is the new black, my life as an oxy Moron.

1998: Single-handedly changes the course of fashion by being the first person in history to shop only for white shirts.

2000: Starts The FiFi Foundation and begins shopping tirelessly with the under-confident encouraging them to buy for life.

2002: Marries white knight in shining Armani, George Clooney, who dyes his hair white to celebrate.

2004: Whilst recovering in Rehab writes the phenomenally successful hit TV series Spending in the City.

2006: Achieves the long held ambition of winning the Shop Tour de France and proudly wears a Review white jersey along the les champs de Sydney.

2008: Invited to curate the exhibition: My Life as a Blank Canvas: A White Shirt Retrospective. It follows the history of the white shirt and how to wear it.  (Hint: with everything from a chic black leather skirt to wide, man style trousers, under a trench coat or back with a pretty floral Review skirt.)

2009: Invited to The White House to celebrate becoming the first woman in history to reject plastic surgery. Acceptance speech centres on why wearing a white shirt next to your face instantly takes 10 years off.

2010 Awarded the prestigious Nobel Purchase Prize for her work launching the charity organisation W.H.I.T.E.S (.Women’s Happiness Is To Exciting Shops).

Yours always fashionably in white,

FiFi

All white shirt photos from http://www.style.com/fashionshows/

- Le Beret.
- Le Repetto ballet flat.
- Le Breton stripes de Review.
- Un petit peu de mouldy cheese (Not fattening because you don’t eat it).
- Une grande bottle of Champagne. Hic!
- Les haricot verts (sans butter).
- Le double kiss.
- Les handsome men.
- Les affaires d’amour avec Les handsome men.
- Le Festival de Film at Cannes
- Les tres chic dresses on les stars de cinema.
- Oh La La! Je presente FiFi’s picks for the best dressed on the carpet rouge at Cannes Film Festival.
Voila! Le grand prize goes to Salma Hayak, Kate Beckinsale, Camilla Belle, Helen Mirren, Cate Blanchett, Evangeline Bruce, Liya Kebede, and Naomi Watts.

Dommage: FiFi’s picks for the worst dressed (Mon Dieu! what were they thinking?) www.celebuzz.com

They say the over-sized IT bag is, um, er, over. I can see what they mean. All my bags are so big every time I peer into the big black hole desperately trying to find something lost in its depths I feel sure George Clooney is probably hiding in there too. I mean you seem to carry around so much in those bags that if you got stranded in a deserted department store you could probably live there for a week. Of course some women don’t even carry handbags. Anna Wintour is never seen with a handbag at any of the fashion shows. She has a car and a driver parked right outside loaded up with everything (and George Clooney sitting in the front seat ).

But in fashion just when you get used things they seem to change. So now it’s time for smaller, structured bags that hang chicly from your shoulder. This should make you smile. And not because you now have a limp, a permanent crook in your arm and one shoulder permanently lower than the other. It means you can now streamline what you carry with you. Which is probably why iphones were invented: You don’t need to carry much else (except a black Amex and a couple of kilos of makeup).

So dear readers it’s time to stop lugging around your heavy, oversized bag. Think of the money you can save from the Physio! The back surgery! The hip replacement!  It means you can spend it on the new Celine or Chloe shoulder bag and still have some leftover cash to spend on necessities like Botox and your Review wardrobe. Sure, you may not be carrying all your worldly goods but you know what they say:  it’s not what’s on the inside but what’s on the outside that counts. You will look fabulous.

Yours fashionably

FiFi
www.FiFi.com.au

Celine and Chloe bags photos from here

Wake up in a sweat. What to wear? What black outfit to wear? Clothes go every where. New pieces you haven’t worn. Old things you haven’t seen in years. Shoes tossed about. Bags strewn across the bed. Decide on dress. Examine legs. Wish you’d had a spray tan. Go for new harem trousers. Straighten hair. Check the weather. Try everything again. Decide on old favourite black pants and never fail Review statement jacket. Hop in the car and zoom. Pray the show starts late. Of course the show starts late: it’s fashion week. Stagger up stairs. To VIP Bar. Is it too early for a wine? Inhale a coffee. Wave. Air kiss. Wait. Ignore the plate of pastries smiling at you. Ignore stomach rumbles. Elbow out other Fashionista fighting for pastries. Head to The Queue. Wait. Ignore numb toes in Balenciaga. Ignore Twitter finger blisters. Ignore sore cheeks from Air kissing. Ignore Paparazzi. Secretly check out what everyone is wearing. Secretly pretend you are chatting on phone. Hope it doesn’t ring. Doors open. Flash your seating card. Ignore seat Nazi. Air kiss the PR. Stagger to your seat. Sit down. Look bored. Sneak a quick swig of water/vodka bottle.  Secretly check out goodie bag. Ignore the foreign man in army fatigues next to you shouting into his phone. He is not BRUNO. Just an international buyer. Wait. Show starts. Put on sunglasses. Have a little snooze. Dream about George Clooney. Look bored. Don’t frown (Well, you can’t anyway) Show finishes. Clap. Snitch goodie bag next to you. Rush back stage to air kiss designers. Stagger upstairs to VIP bar and inhale coffee. Fight for pastries.  Air kiss …Wait …. Repeat.  Repeat.  Sleep. Repeat. Sleep.

Yours exhausted but fashionably,

FiFi
www.FiFi.com.au

A few fashionista out the shows at RAFW from http://www.harpersbazaar.com.au/rafw-street-style-day-3.htm