Here are FiFi’s hot tips for winning Fashions on the Fields:
* Your dress should always be bigger than a jockey: short, skimpy, mini dresses will attract a protest.
* Don’t wear heels so high you need a mounting yard to climb into them.
* Don’t burst the barriers with a false start by falling off your platform gladiators.
* Wedges are perfect for a sprint.
* Do not go for crazy accessories: whips are only for jockeys to carry.
* Your handbag should not be bigger than your skirt.
* Do not drink too much: the only thing sinking into grass should be your heels.
* If you wear thigh high splits, midriffs, low cut tops or shorts you will definitely be scratched.
* Make sure you are the correct weight so your dress fits perfectly (saddle bags exempt).
* Think chic, clean and polished: if you look like an Also Ran you will get eliminated.
* A big, dramatic, over the top dress calls for a hat as small as your handbag.
* The reverse is also true: simple understated dress = big, dramatic over the top hat.
* Fake tan is not an accessory: orange is only chic in shoes and bags.
* The wind is your enemy so make sure to wear your racing silks and don’t flash your Britney.
* If it’s a photo finish then make sure you dip your shoulder towards the camera, chin down and smile.
* Don’t bet on a horse because it has a pretty name.
* Wear your most gorgeous Review dress and you will be a favourite to Win! Win! Win!
Yours fashionably,
FiFi
www.FiFi.com.au




